Rating: Mature
Languages: English, Na'vi
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
2nd Genre: Romance
Character A: Harry J. Potter
Character B: Tsu'tey
Summary: When they went to sleep, they hoped of a better future. But with Gaia insane and Magic as dead as his friends, Harry has no reason to stay. Escape and exist was all he had in mind when he stowed away on a ship to Pandora. Not another war. Slash.
WARNING: Slash, Character Death, AU, OCs, Dark Themes.
Harry had never received The Talk properly, Sirius may have tried before becoming exceptionally uncomfortable and then rip-roaringly drunk and hiding himself away, unable to look his Godson in the eye without turning an unsightly shade of red. His Aunt and Uncle most certainly never even tried, they were under the opinion that Freaks didn't reproduce in the same way that good and decent and normal people did. He had sat through the mandatory Year Five Sex Education Health Lessons in Junior School when he was about nine or ten, but that was purely scientific and full of snickering boys who kept flicking Condoms at each other instead of paying attention so not much was learned beyond basic hygiene, what to expect in puberty and how to put a condom on a banana.
And while he didn't blush and stumble over himself or snicker like a school boy as Mo'at took him a little further downstream and sat him down to explain the Ikran and Toruk, he was still profoundly uncomfortable as the Matriarch who seemed to have taken him in as a son gave him rather explicit detailings on Courtships, Rituals, Dos and Don'ts and even the raw biology of Na'vi Mating. Extremely informative and more educational than anything School or Sirius could have given him, but still extremely uncomfortable and embarrassing.
Unlike humans, Na'vi mated for life because it was such an intimate act for them. Mo'at gently touched his face as she explained that regardless of how accepted he was with them, no matter how loved by family and friends, sad eyes would follow him where ever he trod. Her eyes were disks of liquid amber in the dappled light from overhead, and something caught in his throat at the sight of them the world standing still as everything narrowed down on what she was saying. He was different, unique, and would forever be alone, the last of his kind she explained, her tone low and mournful. Treasured as he was, no woman would consider Mating to him and so he would forever be alone yet none could bring themselves to tell him. To Mate, you had to join minds, bare yourself in the most intimate and rawest of ways, leaving your very soul vulnerable to the scrutiny of your Mate. It is to Trust them and know them and share everything. To mate, you join your Tswin together in Tsaheylu before Eywa, if your union is favourable the sharing of feelings and happy memories occurs, you know your Mate on the most basic instinctive level. However, if Eywa sees that a Bonding would bring one or both parties pain or sadness, the pleasurable feeling of Tsaheylu is reversed and the bond broken, leaving nothing but emptiness and a profound silence.
Mo'at admitted that despite his changes, her questioning of Eywa, she never imagined that he would grow a Tswin, never be able to fully join them, never be able to find a Mate and have family. She smiled at him, warmly and proudly and idly, distantly, he wondered if Lily would have ever smiled like that if he brought Luna home and told her of his intention to marry. He liked to think she would have.
Physically, Mating was no different from what he was familiar with, minus a few anatomy differences. Sexual organs were protected within the body, only opening or unsheathing during physical Mating, she explained that everything was within and during Mating became visible, he assumed that they operated rather like animals from back home. He guessed that was the reason for the giggling at his own rather dangly anatomy, it must have seemed quite indecent to the other Na'vi to have it all on display like that instead of tucked up inside of himself – sadly there was nothing he could really do about that so they were just going to have to put up with it or stop bathing with him.
What surprised him the most was the fact that Homosexuality wasn't uncommon, nor was it frowned on, the People just viewed it as Eywa's benevolence at work. Her duty was to control the balance of life, if she believed the People were too many and her other children may suffer to support them, with a heavy heart she would call some of them back to her. Should a Couple wish to bare children, they prayed to Eywa before Mating and if she felt it acceptable, they would be blessed. Should two of the same gender wish to mate and are accepted, it is considered to be a kindness from Eywa, another way of keeping the population numbers acceptable without calling Loved Ones back. The echoes of Gaia within him resonated, it was a familiar method, before Muggle the same could have been said of the Magi and even after their appearance that acceptance never really left – otherwise tolerance of couplings between species would never occur and wonderful people like Hagrid and Fleur would never have been born. It was only later when her madness began to rot the magic and minds of the Purebloods who were more closely connected to her that prejudice and hatred and racism poisoned the magical society.
Harry nodded as he watched the water swirl around his ankles as he sat beside her on the river-shore, they were quiet for a time, watching the light dance on the surface, listening to the distant laughter and giggling of the children, the creatures and insects around them.
"Did you Mate to her?" Mo'at finally asked, referring to Luna.
Harry shook his head, "No," he admitted quietly, "Our mother killed her before we could."
There was a moment of quiet before Mo'at spoke again, her tone firm and knowing, "It frightens you, doesn't it?"
He didn't even need to ask her what she meant by that, he knew, "Yes."
Opening his mind to another, letting them see the scars across his deepest most secret parts of his being, to let them know his faults and inadequacies, the truth of everything that he was, everything he hid away from the light of day and, most importantly, from himself. To let someone in that far, that close, after everything that Snape, Dumbledore, Voldemort and Gaia... after everything they had done, it terrified him on such a level that he felt cold and started to shake when he realised that even without them there, even with Eywa being sound and sane mind, someone could still force their way into his mind, twist him and hurt him and tear him.
He flinched away violently when Mo'at touched his shoulder, making the woman recoil as if struck.
"We had a spell, a way of joining minds," he finally admitted at length, making the Na'vi woman look at him in surprise, "Long ago, it was used like Tsaheylu. Legilimency, the art of entering the mind. But many years passed and its true purpose was lost, soon it became something else, something cruel and painful." He had never really thought of his Legilimency lessons as anything particularly traumatising at the time, looking back, he could only cringe at how blasé he had been over what was essentially repeated Mind Rape, what the Na'vi would consider as rape, it was difficult to say, to speak of, but... he could talk about it now. "By the time I was born, it was considered illegal, to use it was cause for great punishment amongst my people. There was a man, he killed my parents and unintentionally created a bond between us when I was just an infant. As I grew, the bond became stronger until I was able to see through his eyes while I slept. My people grew frightened for me, they sent me to a man who was supposed to teach me how to shield my mind, Occlumency, but the man... He hated my father and through him, he hated me.
"He did not teach me. He... He would force his way into my mind, rip my thoughts out for his entertainment. It hurt. Every time it hurt and I never even realised at the time how wrong it was, how badly he violated my mind. It was necessary, important, I needed to learn how to protect my mind from the Bond. But he just made it worse, he opened it further. I... I ended up getting someone I cared for killed because the Bond was discovered, and the murderer of my parents used the opened bond to force his mind in, to control me, to speak through my mouth and tell my Leader to kill me." He didn't look at Mo'at as he told her this, he just stared at his feet, concentrated on the soft glow he could see in the shadows of the river-bed. He didn't want to see the look of horror and pity on her face. He imagined that the concept of rape was completely unknown to the Na'vi, not to even be conceptualised, unimaginable.
"I don't think I would ever trust anyone to enter my mind again."
Neytiri was no fool. And nor was she unobservant.
She had been happy, truly happy, for Hari when they discovered his short Tswin, he was a skilled hunter and showed great promise with Zuleika as a Blacksmith, not to mention his skill in River-Diving. Many a woman would be proud and happy to accept an offer of Mating to him, he was kind and respectful to everyone regardless of their place within the Tribe and he had already proven himself fiercely protective. She didn't know of a single woman who did not wish to try and heal the pains of his past, he would have to suffer through more than a few Courtings he did not yet fully understand. Hopefully her mother would aid him in this.
But watching as they returned from their conversation downriver, she couldn't help but notice how an air of sadness and uncertainty had descended upon them. Later, when she broached the subject of teaching Hari to ride Pa'li and Ikran as they did through Tsaheylu her mother refused and practically ordered Neytiri to never bring such a subject up with Hari, ever. Startled and a little bit stung by the rebuff, Neytiri sought out Tsu'tey to ask his thoughts on the matter, normally she would have gone to her sister regarding the matter but she had become increasingly thorny of late whenever the subject of Hari's past and the Sky People came up. Enough so that Hari would occasionally avoid her and spend time with the Hunter instead who was becoming a much more calming influence amidst them.
Tsu'tey had known nothing about it but he seemed to brighten up at the knowledge that Hari would not be alone forever, that he could Mate properly and have a family. Memories that Eywa sent him of their Little Brother's life on the Sky People's World had impressed onto him how much Family and Friends meant to him, surely Hari would be ecstatic to know that it would no longer be out of his reach. But when Neytiri told him of her mother's reaction, he fell quiet, a frown of concern beginning to crease his forehead.
There was no other way they were going to find their answers, and while Mo'at had refused Neytiri to ask questions, she had given Tsu'tey no such direction. All they could do was ask Hari himself. True it would probably bring up unwanted memories but his Pain was their Pain, just as his Joy was their Joy, that's what it meant to be one of the People, one of their Family. Of Omaticaya.
"Are you certain of this?" Mo'at asked, staring at the Hunter stood in front of her.
N'deh nodded seriously, "I know she can never be one of the People, but her own Mother has left her mark upon her, she understands even when she does not See." He left it unspoken that she cared nothing for his previous failing, for the stigma attached to his name and his honour.
"She will not join us in Hometree," Eytukan pointed out, the woman was stubborn, she would not leave her own home to join them in theirs, she would insist upon returning each night because the Sky People would worry for her and attack to avenge her.
N'deh nodded, "I know, but..." he trailed off, unable to explain his feelings on the matter, he Chose her and she Chose him in her own way, he could read it in the way she smiled at him, leaned over when he spoke to hear him better. She cared nothing for the fact that he had tried Mating with a woman before, only to be rejected, she treated him no differently because of it. He was getting no younger and she was wise beyond her years, intelligent if abrasive, but her love of Eywa and all she held was unmistakable. She was good with children as well, they adored her and she them, he hoped that this worked out, his hammock had gone cold and silent for far too long and he knew his sister would be happy to weave him a family one for when they agreed it was time for children.
Mo'at sighed and nodded, a smile breaking across her features, "Very well, Hunter N'deh, may Eywa smile upon your union to Teacher Grace."
Finding Hari was the difficult part of speaking to him, he was hard to locate at the best of times but when he desired not to be found, no one would. Zuleika was one of the exceptionally few who could, so it was to her they went for advise and then down to the river where she pointed them. 'He has a soul of wind and water, if you do not find him at the river, look for in him the skies' she explained making the two youngsters nod, Neytiri unable to stop herself from comparing Hari to others she knew. A soul of wind and water? Such soothing elements, and yet so dangerous when angered. Her mother claimed that fire and air filled her being, that she and Tsu'tey would be well together as he too carried fire within him, fire and earth. But Neytiri didn't think that, there was no... spark between them, she could see him as nothing more than her brother, and Eywa how she had tried to make herself love him but...
She sighed and shook the thought off, now was not the time.
They did eventually find Harry, he had taken himself rather far away from Hometree, sat curled up in a small river hallow, water swirling around his shoulders as he rested his chin on his knees, just above the water level amidst the large leaves and roots that almost completely hid him from sight.
"Hari," Neytiri greeted, crouching on the riverbank beside him, silently admiring the way his new markings made him look like some kind of water creature, never before seen, silent and wild and so undeniably part of Eywa that she could only thank the Sky People for bringing him to them, even if she hated them for their actions against him.
Green eyes peered up at them and he smiled, it wasn't a happy expression, "How is it you two always seem to know when things aren't quite right in Harry-Land?" he asked softly, pulling himself out of the water as Tsu'tey crouched down beside his Intended. Hari looked so small and pale, like an Atokirina given the form of one of the People, just as delicate and pure.
"I spoke to Mother about teaching you how to ride and fly as we do, through the Bond, Tsaheylu, but she forbade it so vehmently it worried me," the young girl explained, making Hari look at her in surprise, "I sought out Tsu'tey, hoping that he would know why."
"I do not," the Warrior broke in, sounding rather self-depreciating.
Neytiri nodded, "We thought it best to ask you directly after that," she explained, her tail flicking in concern as Hari stared at them with an odd expression on his face, it was times like this when she had to remind herself that Hari was actually older than both she and Tsu'tey, he seemed to young, as if he had never been able to be a child before being forced to be a man and now he didn't know what to do or how to act because his reason for being a man was gone.
"You... you would be the first to come for my side of it," he admitted before sighing and gesturing for them to actually sit, he knew they could handle crouching for long periods of time, their muscles more than adapted to it, but he did not wish for any injuries in their reactions to what he was going to tell them regarding his mind rape. He had been thinking about it since he left Mo'at, swimming up the river, his eyes strangely unbothered by the liquid, possibly because it was so pure that nothing could irritate them.
He was over it. The mind-rape that is. It was only since coming to Pandora that he had realised it was anything really bad, he had not even considered it in the grand scheme of things, Snape Occlumency Lessons were just more proof of what a bitter and foul tempered man he was, Voldemort's possession was a lot more invasive but at the end of it, he never actually gave it more than a passing 'damn that hurt'. Gaia's intrusions were possibly the only thing that truly struck him as wrong but that was primarily because she kept trying to tear his magic out. Yes, each attack had left its marks, scars upon his mind and psyche. He doubted he would ever consent to letting another into his mind, never trust them enough for it, but it didn't cripple him as he knew physical rape could do to its victims sometimes.
So he told them, he didn't lie or sugar coat it because there was no need, he was fine, he would never Mate, but he didn't need to, he never gave it a thought beyond how it would have been nice to possess a family – but he had Neytiri and Tsu'tey for that, he could be a crazy uncle to their children and spoil them rotten and take them for flights on Zeus and teach them river diving and make necklaces and bracelets that were so delicate and fine that they couldn't be reproduced by the other Na'vi.
Tsu'tey snarled furiously and was on his feet punching the nearest tree when he finally conceptualised just what Hari was talking about, his vision stained red, his muscles shaking to the point of tearing with the force of his anger. Had he possessed fur, Harry was fairly sure he would be puffed up worse than Crookshanks when Ron threatened to give him a bath if he got fleas anywhere in the dorms.
Neytiri couldn't believe it, it was beyond her ability to understand but she knew that, from Tsu'tey's reaction, that she did not want to understand what Hari was explaining, that it would haunt her to know it. So she accepted his explanation for not wishing to Mate and resolved to run interference on his behalf with the other females and a few of the males within the Clan. Hari did have his admirers, yet none would do more than admire him from afar refusing to do more with the knowledge that Mating was impossible, that Eywa could not bless them.
None of them were aware of the golden eyes that watched from above their heads, the golden eyes that burned with hatred verging on madness.
Sylwanin raged.
The other Warriors could see it in her heart, the fires of War had seized her and Eywa's vengence gave her purpose, she was not Tsahik, but she Heard, and she Felt and she Understood. Eywa's hate of the Sky People burned like lightning within her veins as her own heart seethed and revelled in it, Eywa wished them gone, they were a leech upon her and the only way to remove leeches was through burning. Sylwanin would burn the Sky People, drive them off like leeches.
Gone was the Tsahik's patient and wise daughter, Sylwanin was tolerance and graceful, she Understood Eywa and the world around her in a way that very few not Tsahik could. But that woman was gone now, burned away by anger and fear and now by vengence and righteous fury.
She had heard of Hari's experiences, his fear of Tsaheylu and her whole being recoiled in horror and sheer unadulterated revulsion and terror at the thought of such things being possible. Tsaheylu, Mating with the unwilling, by force. Such a thing... such a thing...
Tomorrow, tomorrow at first light, she vowed.
The Sky People would burn.
Chapter Fin...
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